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Relationships
Keeping our
most important relationships working well requires effort, we can't just sit back
and assume that they will always go smoothly. They won't. We often begin a partner
relationship eager to please and both partners look after and support each other
in lots of ways. During the early period of a relationship each half of the partnership
flourishes. But this period of contentment doesn't last for ever. Pressures from
outside can damage our relationships. Sometimes we struggle alone, unable to share
our distress with our partner because we don't want to worry them. So we don't
let them know what a difficult time we are having. Or we are aware that something
isn't 'right' in our relationship but we don't want, or know how to, talk about
it with our partner. Being unable to discuss things with our partner has a double
effect, not only can they not help us or support us when we need it most but because
they can see that something is wrong for us but we're not talking about it, they
feel shut out and unvalued. Each partner gets locked into their own feelings,
unable to help the other and the relationship is damaged. Our
relationships with others also affect the way we feel about ourselves. If important
relationships at work or at home are going well, we feel good, able to cope with
others' difficulties, able to enjoy life. However, if our relationships either
at home or at work are under stress or become difficult to manage, we become moody,
difficult, and have no space in our lives to help others. Sometimes we displace
our feelings about one person on to another which complicates the situation and
makes our lives more complex and more difficult to manage in a satisfying and
fulfilling way. People
in counselling have often arrived because a significant relationship in their
lives has gone wrong and they can't do anything about it. We work together to
understand how the relationship has deteriorated, what has triggered this. Then
we look for ways to break the deteriorating pattern and for strategies to avoid
it happening in the future. If something like this has happened or is happening
to you, and you would like some counselling, please email me using the link that
appears at the top and bottom of every page.
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