From day to day, you probably talk to your friends about various common problems you might have, and in turn, they might give you advice on what to do about it. In other words, the advice is based on a personal relationship between two non-professionals, and, for most everyday problems, most people are needed.

On the other hand, there are big enough problems that you need to get the recommendation of a professional. This first level of professional reference is called counseling and is not limited to psychological or emotional issues. Counseling is based on the conscious exchange of ideas between a professional and a person who hires him. When you go to the garage about the uneven operation of your car’s engine, the driver can tell you that the engine needs an adjustment, a new fuel pump, or whatever. In other words, the driver advises you on what you need to do to get your engine running smoothly again.

In the same vein, a personal counselor is there to listen to those problems you have at work, in your marriage, with your children, or with your lifestyle, and to offer recommendations on solving these problems. A counselor’s recommendations come from a professionally trained point of view. Ideally, you take these recommendations, act on them, and improve your situation. In other words, counseling in this context is very similar to advise, except that it comes from a paid, professionally trained source.

Psychotherapy, especially counseling or counseling, is premised on the assumption that both counseling and counseling do not work or will not work, primarily because, in addition to the obvious personal problem, there is resistance to any advice or recommendations of professional counseling. . could be offered. The resistance of a client or a patient is the key element of psychotherapy, as opposed to advice or counseling.

Similarly, someone who comes for weight management or quitting smoking or drinking is usually looking for someone to tell them how to lose weight, quit smoking, how to quit drinking (or how to get rid of the boss, wife, or police about drinking) and wants an answer that does not require any discomfort or minimal discomfort. When I’ve been told that weight loss can involve temporary and sometimes severe discomfort, as one reduces one’s food or actually trains, a typical resistance is along the lines of “I can’t stand doing this! Tell me something else. Isn’t there a magic pill that will make me lose weight while I am daily abused with extra-large chocolate milk that I raised to love? Can’t you hypnotize me to lose weight without diet or exercise? “

Therefore, a psychotherapist usually deals with an individual who will resist the normal recommendations and suggestions given through friendly advice or professional counseling. It’s as if someone took their car to the garage, heard the mechanic say that the car needs a new fuel pump, and then heard the customer say, “It’s outrageous! I know it’s the alternator. How dare you tell me that my car’s fuel pump is not working! “

Therefore, the first job of a psychotherapist is to manage and, ultimately, to help the client or patient to dissolve his resistance to improve. Gregory Bateson, a leading contributor to both cybernetics and conjugal therapy, said the patient’s position was “Help me, but I won’t let you.” There can be a huge number of reasons for this resistance.

Therefore, the skill and training of the psychotherapist come into play exactly in managing the resistance of the client or the patient. Helping the client or patient resolve those resistances to effective treatment is the hallmark of psychotherapy as opposed to counseling or advice.

Suffice it to say; it is neither simple nor easy.